The Big Pharaoh
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Thursday, May 20, 2004

I wanted to complain to someone about the problems in Iraq. I found none except this person:

Dear God,

I am just writing to ask you why is everything going on so bad in Iraq? Why haven’t we heard at least some good news in the recent months? It seems unfair. Iraq means a lot to freedom lovers in the Middle East. We, the freedom lovers of the Middle East, are ready to support anyone, even the USA, so that Iraq becomes at least a decent country in such a dark region. God, I know that you have created us as free beings. You gave freedom to Adam and you made him decide whether to sin or not. It seems that you love freedom. Then why is all this happening in Iraq? Bombings, fear, insecurity, Al Jazeerah, and now the Abu Ghreib photos. Why is it so messed up?

God, I don’t give a hoot about Arab opinions, I do support George W. Bush because I choose to believe in his sincerity towards creating a decent country in Iraq. I am not asking for a Denmark, not even an India, but a decent country that is better than the other 21 Arab nations. I do not believe I am asking for much.

God, if you are against the USA and choose to give her such a hard time in Iraq, then I suppose you are pro-baathists, pro-islamists, and pro-muqtada al sadr. Forgive me, I find it so hard to believe that you can somehow favor those 3 groups. God, baathists killed thousands upon thousands of Iraqis, Islamists stand against all your values of freedom and love, and Muqtada al Sadr is an Iranian puppet who has no problem terrorizing the people of Najaf and Karbala just to score some political points. He too stands against all your values. Please God, if you want to punish the USA for something then please punish her somewhere else.

When New York Times columnists Nicholas Kristof told Ayatollah Nazeri - an excellent moderate cleric in Iran- that he comes from the “Great Satan”, Nazeri responded by saying “no, you are a small devil, the great satan is here, the self-appointed Iranian religious ruling class”. God, I believe Ayatollah Nazeri is right. The USA is not the Great Satan but she is a small devil, in fact, there are no Great Angels anywhere in the world. So, I urge you to support the small devil because he has an excellent plan for Iraq.

God, something deep inside me tells me that you hate Muqtada al Sadr. Then can you tell me why on your earth the latest poll showed that his popularity surged in Iraq. God this is not fair. The USA is getting a hit after a hit after a hit whether in Iraq or the US congress and I am getting tired of this. For the sake of humanity, for the sake of Iraq, please intervene. The US has a noble cause in Iraq; she just needs your help. Please protect her from the wolves outside and the wolves within. The wolves outside are the baathists, islamists, sadr, al jaeerah, non-Iraqi and non-Kuwaiti Arabs, Iran, Syria. The wolves inside are those Pentagon officials who had no post-war plan whatsoever and still believed that they can run Iraq on the cheap. The inside wolves are also those who know nothing about Arab culture and ordered their female soldiers to pose in front of naked and dead prisoners.

Don’t convince me that you are a pacifist who is against the war in Iraq. I don’t buy this because if you were against this war then, forgive me, I have to accuse you of being passive towards the slaughterer Saddam Hussein. I didn’t send this letter to your self-appointed ambassadors the Vatican because I see no difference between them and the Pharisees whom Jesus met. They stood silent while millions of Jews were burned in the holocaust, they stood silent when kids were raped by some of their priests, and they stood silent when Saddam was filling his mass graves with Iraqi bodies. Why are they acting as angels now and boasting an anti-Bush attitude? Well, mere hypocrisy. This is the reason why I sent this letter to YOU.

God, please forgive me if the mess in Iraq was not created by you. I believe that we accuse you of many things that you are innocent of. For example, we sometimes accuse you of bringing lung cancer to us while we choose to smoke 3 packs of cigarettes a day. However, I believe that you can intervene regardless of who made this mess. You heal and mend the broken without asking about who did the damage. Please heal Iraq. Please make George W. Bush win in Iraq. PERIOD

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