The Big Pharaoh
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Tuesday, July 13, 2004

My Internet Adventures

I have a cheeky way to know what people around the world really think about something. I enter Yahoo chat rooms using a female name and I instantaneously get bombarded with private messages from guys who want to meet a pretty girl online. After introducing myself to my prey, I smoothly shift the conversation to where I want it to be in order to get a reflex reply from him. I admit I sometimes feel guilty for doing such a thing, but I just can't help it, my curiosity always overpowers me and drives me to these various chat rooms.

I once pretended to be an Iraqi girl who works as a translator with the US forces. She helps in translating training instructions for female soldiers in the new Iraqi army. This girl is not from my imagination, I read about her long time ago. Equipped with the few Iraqi slang words I know, I entered the Arab chat room and introduced my fake name and occupation. These were some of the reactions I got:

"What? Did they rape you?"
"How dare you work with the occupation? Aren't you ashamed?"
"Are you Muslim?"
"You're a pretty girl. They will rape you. I heard that they rape Iraqi women on the street."

I left the Arab chat room and entered an Iranian one. These were a number of the replies I got after informing them of my exciting job:

"Really, that's cool"
"I like America" These words came from an Iranian Turk who hates the Persians and wants America to invade his country so that Turks would get their rights in Iran!

I won't comment on the Arab replies because I'm sure you all know why I got them. But what made the Iranian youth who frequent those chat rooms react in such a different way than their Arab counterparts? Isn't Iran supposed to be one of America's enemies? Didn't these kids chant "death to America" every morning in their school lines? Didn't they sing the song that their religious rulers invented which includes a verse saying "the blood of Iran's youth is dripping from America's nails?" Why did I get such reactions? Why were they the only Muslims who voluntarily held vigils after 911?

The answer to all the above questions is very simple: America is just against their theocratic dictators. They are friends for free. America doesn't have to pay anything to earn their friendship; she just has to continue to press for their freedom. How? By doing Iraq right. Buy Iraq, get Iran free.


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