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Monday, August 08, 2005

Jokes

Let us take a break from politics. Here are a number of jokes I translated from Arabic. A serious post will be coming soon.

1. A man died and went to hell. He met the devil.
devil: welcome
man: Hi..I can see ladies turning around in hell..why are they doing so?
devil: It's a punishment. The lady that betrayed her husband with another man turns once. The one who betrayed her husband with 2 men turns twice and so on.
man: Cool..where is my faithful wife..she passed away last year.
devil: ahhh, your wife, she's the fan over there.

2. 2 hashasheen (guys stoned on hash) were smoking pot and were stoned like hell.
h1: Hey..I got married..marriage is a wonderful thing..i got a new apartment. Come over let me show it to you.
The two stoned bums go to the apartment.
h1: This is the living room.
h2: Very nice furniture.
h1: This is my kitchen
h2: great looking kitchen
They then move towards the bedroom. H1 opened the door. His wife was in bed with another guy.
h1: This is my bedroom.
h2: wow, very nice.
h1: And this is my wife.
h2: wow, pretty lady.
H1 points to the guy sleeping with his wife.
h1: and he is me.

3. Osama lost his ID card. He went to the police to file a report.
O: I lost my ID card..My name is Osama.
Police: Osama the son of a bitch?
O: How dare you call me son of a bitch..I am going to the head officer to complain.
O: Good evening officer..your subordinate called me a son of a bitch.
Officer: Whats your name?
O: Osama.
Officer: Osama the son of a bitch?
O: How dare you call me that..I am going to the minister to complain.
O: Good evening minister..the officer called me a son of a bitch
Minister: Whats your name?
O: Osama.
Minister: Osama the son of a bitch?
O: Noooo. This is getting unbearable..I'll go and raise this to President Mubarak.
O: Good evening Mr. President..They are all calling me a son of a bitch. This is against my human rights.
President: Whats your name?
O: Osama
President: Osama the son of a bitch?
O: No way..I am outta this country. I am going to complain to President Bush.
Osama flies to the US
O: Good evening Mr. President. Look what your ally Mubarak is doing. He is calling me, a citizen, a son of a bitch.
Bush: What's your name?
O: Osama.
Bush: Osama Bin Laden?????!!!!!
O: Noooooooooooooooo, Osama the son of a bitch.


4.

"Fastest" way to committ suicide


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